The news was shared widely online this week that my dear friend of over 25 years, Preston Buffalo, has passed away.
Image copyright Preston Buffalo, c/o https://www.instagram.com/p/BTSeo92DldZ/
Many people have reached out to ask if I’m doing OK or check if I had heard. There would be no way to be “OK”, but as I’ve experienced death many times over I feel that in time, I will eventually be able to accept Preston’s passing. My heart goes out profoundly to Preston’s siblings. Navigating the process ahead for them is going to be incredibly challenging.
I saw Preston about six weeks ago, to visit his most recent exhibition at Sum Gallery. He looked incredible, he was excited, and the show, as I posted at the time, was another one of many spectacular shows of Preston’s work in recent years. Preston’s artistic output likely can’t be appreciated by those who didn’t know him well or get to experience it in person.
The distinction of Preston’s genius, I can now appreciate, is that Preston created so brilliantly in any medium he worked with, despite so few supports and resources. In recent years I continued to hope for discovery of his talent by a collector or gallerist who could champion his work and connect Preston in ways that I simply couldn’t. His 2021 show in Montreal allowed me to see the possibility, as pieces from that show sold well. This was quite rare for the gallery which was not a commercial space, but the work and Preston’s ability spoke for itself. Preston was overjoyed.
In the last few months we sent two proposals to exhibit Preston’s work in the year ahead, one of which had already been declined by the gallery. This is fairly routine for proposals of new or emerging artists. We were also actively discussing a grant proposal to collaborate on a book project. Preston and I spoke at least every few weeks. Preston’s input was integral to the performance works I’ve designed in the last year. We had long video calls to show each other our latest projects or talk about ideas we had for new work. We were still incredibly close, despite a large geographic distance, and we spent time together in Nanaimo last year, where we first met, before Preston’s mom passed away.
Many have said what a ‘dynamic duo’ we were when we arrived in Vancouver in 1999. All I can say in reply is that we had absolutely no clue how unusual or interesting our presence was. Perhaps Preston did, I certainly didn’t. In one of our long talks in the last year, I told Preston that I had only recently begun to appreciate how much creative potential we had in those early years, which in hindsight I don’t think we properly utilized. We were perhaps a bit too caught up in nightlife.
Many people probably don’t know this, but we schemed endlessly in those early years about moving to New York, where we felt we were meant to be. I think a move at that time likely would have destroyed both of us, as our party habits may have taken over.
In all the years of our friendship, I can say with utmost clarity that I loved Preston wholly, which included the role of substance use in his life. Preston took ownership of this, and clearly communicated to me on many occasions that he managed his substance use. He was so incredibly intelligent and gifted, however I’m not sure he was meant to exist within the expectations of mainstream/dominant Western culture, for a whole host of reasons that were not his fault in any way. This is certainly not a criticism of Preston – rather I achingly wish that there could have been space carved out for Preston years ago to create, to exist, and to work in ways that were most suited to him.
Preston was powerfully transformed by time spent at an addiction program on Vancouver Island in the mid 2010’s. It was after that experience that he began a creative resurgence. I can also unequivocally state that I maintained eternal hope and optimism for Preston’s future.
As many tragic life events began to pile up in recent years – the passing of Preston’s parents as well as the passing of many people he was close with in his Downtown Eastside community, his ongoing human rights case, health complications, financial precarity – I became increasingly aware of the many difficult factors that risked his long term sur-thrivance, a term I first heard used by a mutual friend and recently passed artist and speaker, Jeph McNeil. I can say with utmost clarity that every single time I saw or spoke with Preston I honoured as though it was the last time. Our visit to see his show at Sum Gallery together in April was magical, he was excited, optimistic, and bursting with creative energy. He looked phenomenal – as many will know his health fluctuations were sometimes visible, however on our last visit, he radiated.
I’m absolutely devastated and I’m sure anyone who knows the history Preston and I shared will appreciate just how impossible it is for me to process his passing. Despite preparing myself for this moment for many years I still can’t quite accept it. I appreciate the kind words and messages, but likely won’t be able to reply or comment further for some time.
Rest in peace my dear, dear friend, Preston Buffalo.